last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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