Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
