I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
