First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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