May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize