Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
