from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
