so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
