So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
17 year olds will be the death of me.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
