She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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