Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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