What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
