i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
