We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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