She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
