so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
