Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So apparently I’m into choking now
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
