if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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