Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I want to walk on stilts...naked
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
