first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
