I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
