Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Boobs speak an international language.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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