Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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