getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
