4 words: hood of his car
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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