is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
