there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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