Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
