I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize