ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
