theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I will pee on everything he values.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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