I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
