I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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