I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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