im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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