Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
