Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
