Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize