I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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