If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i think i just lost a toe
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
