take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
