I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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