Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
