Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I don't think brook has ever known best
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
