he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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