How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Dicks are not precious.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
