so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize