He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
