I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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