uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
