I feel like I'm in dance class right now
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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