You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
