Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize