I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
