shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
