Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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