All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
