you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
