I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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