We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
