we have pet lesbian snakes
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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