i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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