Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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