highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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