Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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