do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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