Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
