Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it