I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
