you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.