you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass