chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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