We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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