I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
